I miss my wedding day (but I love marriage one year on)

This weekend, it will be my first wedding anniversary. One year since I married the man I love. I remember waking up that morning, so excited to have finally reached this day. And one year on, I find myself leafing through my wedding photos and watching old episodes of Say Yes to the Dress. Looking back on it all, I miss my wedding day.

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I miss:

  • getting my hair and makeup done to perfection and having an exquisite white dress to wear, knowing I’ll never have people fussing over my appearance like this ever again

  • the time spent before the wedding with my bridesmaids and my mum and dad, all of them sharing in my excitement.

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I miss:

  • arriving at the church with the biggest, most radiant smile I’ve ever seen

  • walking down the aisle – I kind of wish I could do that bit again, because my bridesmaids walked just a little quickly and messed up the timing for my grand entrance (it didn’t really matter though!)

  • standing in front of more than a hundred people while I actually married the man I love

  • once we had said our vows and were officially married, we got to sit down and listen to the minister give his sermon – that’s when I started to relax.

I miss:

  • coming out into the afternoon tea and sharing the excitement of being freshly married with my friends and family

  • all the little girls at the wedding fascinated with my dress, following me around and trying to play with my skirts – they must have thought I was a princess of some sort.

  • seeing my grandparents there – they both live in a nursing home and they needed carers to accompany them to the wedding. We weren’t even sure if they’d be able to come on the day but they looked so happy to be there!

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I miss:

  • the photo shoot in the national park – by far the most fun part of the day. Just my new husband and I with our parents and six of our closest friends, posing and generally being silly. The photographer was a friend of mine from way back, which made the atmosphere even more exuberant and joyful.

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I miss:

  • making our grand entrance into the reception room, even if our MC pulled out at the last minute due to family reasons, and we only got in contact with her replacement the day before. He got some of our bridal party’s names wrong, but that just ended up being really funny!

  • the food at the reception – so good!

  • impressing everyone with our mad first dance skills (I may be exaggerating a little). We danced to Michael Buble’s Everything, which turned out to be a fun, romantic choice.

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The day went so quickly! Moving from one thing to the next, nothing felt like it was long enough because every part of it was wonderful. Parts of the day are like a blur, yet there are some very clear, incredibly precious moments that stick in my mind. And also a whole album full of photos. I look back at this day and I want to go back. I want to relive the sheer excitement of getting married and, I’ll be honest, I want to look like a bride again.

I know I can’t go back to that day. I can reminisce and remember, but the immediacy of that day is gone forever. We’re no longer fresh newlyweds, in the very first bloom of our marriage, and we never will be again. Yet, I believe that we move on to better things. We are still newlyweds, I suppose, but even in this year we have grown stronger in our love for each other. We have learned to live with each other and worked out how to both get ready in the morning without stressing out. We’ve prayed through some difficult situations and come out the other side. We’ve learned to sacrificially serve each other and to encourage each other in our faith.

I really think I do love my husband more now than on our wedding day. I love his gentle strength, his faithfulness, his humour. I pray that we have many, many more years together. I do miss my wedding day, but I love marriage one year on. I look forward with hopeful anticipation to the future.

i miss my wedding day

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