For the last few years I’ve been working as a casual special education teacher, and last year I was fortunate enough to have four days a week for the first three terms. But, unknown reasons, in term four the workload seemed to dwindle away and I wasn’t getting rung up as much. On top of that, my husband’s trying to find a full-time permanent job – the three days he has is most definitely better than nothing but it still doesn’t cover all our expenses. So now the Christmas holidays are over, school has been back for one and a half weeks and I’m waiting to get some work.
Waiting can be hard. What makes waiting hardest, though, is uncertainty. Not knowing if that call to come in to work will ever happen. Not knowing when we’ll be more financially secure. If you know something’s definitely happening, and you know when it’s happening, then it’s not too hard to wait – although I still can get impatient. If you know something’s happening, but you’re not sure when, it’s a little harder. When you’re not sure if something’s going to happen at all? That can be really hard. With situations like this, I’ve got to be really careful not to spiral down into anxious thoughts. Thankfully, I know the way to make the waiting game just that little bit easier.
The only thing for me that balances out waiting is trusting. Trusting in God, that he has a plan for us to be revealed in his perfect timing. He knows the future and he sees what’s ahead for us when we can’t. He has promised that he’ll work all things for good in our lives, even the difficult parts. He’s promised to never leave or forsake us. So, on those days where I’m worrying about the future, I know I can come to God and bring everything to him. It doesn’t make everything completely easy – waiting is still hard. But trusting in God lifts my eyes beyond my situation and helps me to be at peace
It’s not all bad, though. Overall, even with the struggles, I’d say that life is pretty good. I love being married and, although I’m not working as much as I’d like to, I’m learning to appreciate this time at home. I’ve got time to be a housewife (lots of running around the house in a pretty apron) and to write. This is where I am at the moment, in the waiting – and trusting – game. It may not be perfect, but I know God holds the future and he holds us even now.
If anyone knows how the picture relates to the waiting game, let me know in the comments!